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Becoming a mom is one of the most identity changing times in a woman’s life. The friends you had before you became a mom will most likely change. And it is to no fault of anyone; it’s just life. That is why you need to find your mom tribe!
My mom tribe consists of family members, co-workers who turned into friends, neighbors, old friends, and moms of other little ones from daycare. My mom tribe won’t ever be complete, though. I am always going to need more moms to help me in my village and for me to help them.
The family members who have helped me along the way will never know how much of an impact they have had and will still have in my life.
The old friends whom I’ve been able to rekindle relationships with based on our commonality of motherhood will forever be cherished.
The new moms in my life who have come about just by us being in the right place at the right time will never know how much their new friendship means to me.
What is a Mom Tribe?
A mom tribe is your crew, your group, your peeps, your girls, your trusted circle of friends.
These friends are those who understand the mom life, the challenges of motherhood, and the joys of motherhood (like when your toddler poops on the potty for the first time).
A mom tribe is full of individuals whom you trust and can share information with about what it is like to be a mom. Some days, you might just want to vent about a rough phase your child is going through. Other days, you might be the one who passes on advice to another mom friend when she asks.
A mom tribe is your circle of friends that have a common ground: motherhood. By being there for one another, you share a deeper bond with these women as they navigate motherhood as well.
Empower one another and be there with coffee in hand (or a margarita) showing up to support your tribe!
How to Find Your Mom Tribe
Mom friends are pretty easy to find. However, you have to be open to wanting to begin a new relationship.
Being a mom (or just a woman in general) can be difficult. Women aren’t usually so open to new friends outside of their circle. Therefore, making a new relationship can be challenging.
Although, in times when you find yourself in a different place than your other friends, a mom friend or two can be beneficial.
This isn’t to say that you have to ditch your original friends for new ones. This is just a suggestion to find more friends who will help you in your motherhood journey.
Mom friends can be found pretty much anywhere. There are moms everywhere who have gone through or will soon go through what you are going through.
Think of all the places you typically visit with your little one(s) and consider how many other moms are there looking for a mom tribe as well.
Taking your kids to the park is a budget friendly activity and a great way to meet other moms. Throughout the day, you will find several moms (and even dads) taking their children to enjoy some outdoor time while getting in some exercise.
The most common time of the day where moms are most prevalent in the parks is right after breakfast time and right before lunch time. Your sweet spot to finding many moms at the park to mingle with is between 10 a.m. and noon.
All it takes is for your kiddo to find a friend to play with and the rest can be history! Or maybe you can take the reigns on it and start up a conversation with another mom who is there.
Mommy and Me Classes
I am such an introvert; it’s probably because of my fear of rejection. I am not the one to start up a conversation first, but there have been times when I swallow my fear and just go for it.
For instance, taking my son to a mommy and me class, there are organized activities that take place. These activities put you in a position where you are close to other moms and you can chat about your babies. This led to a couple of blossoming friendships for me and great playdates!
Local libraries oftentimes have a young audience class, something along the lines of a story time class. These classes usually last about 20 to 30 minutes. This give you a chance to mingle with others while engaging in the read-a-long and sing-a-long activities.
Similar to that of an outdoor playground, these indoor playgrounds have a large selection of moms taking their children for a chance to get some energy out. I like indoor playgrounds because it is more of an enclosed space and lesser chance for outside dangers.
Same goes for here as for a park; strike up a conversation with other moms, ask them how old their kiddos are, and see where the conversation takes you. Sounds a little like dating, right? Because it kind of is!
Churches have nurseries were you can drop off your children in a classroom setting while you go enjoy the church service. If you find your little one takes to a particular child in their classroom more than others, find out who the parents are and schedule a playdate.
This will give you an opportunity to get to know them more and gives your child a little time to play with this new friend as well.
I have worked in daycare and I have been sort of a match maker for families. Since I am with the children all day, I can tell parents who their child plays with the most during the day and encourage them to get together outside of daycare.
Additionally, I’ve gotten to know both families so I can tell whether or not the two families have the same parenting styles or if one is more relaxed than the other. It’s not in the job description, but daycare matchmaker comes with the job!
About a year ago, we had new neighbors move into out neighborhood two doors down from us. I noticed they had a little boy similar in size to my son. Therefore, I reached out and decided we could do some playdates with them.
Thankfully, the family was nice enough to want to get together with our boys and we’ve made some pretty incredible memories ever since!
Online Facebook Group
With everything being online these days, it’s no wonder we can find our mom tribe online.
Oftentimes, you can find local mom groups on Facebook and join in on the conversations about what’s going on in the community, get recommendations for places to explore, or even schedule playdates.
I love that there are so many Facebook groups out there that can be specific to the your needs. Groups such as breastfeeding groups, toddler groups, school age groups, and even postpartum support groups have become really beneficial.
Like I said before, I’m an introvert and often find myself not wanting to start a conversation for fear of rejection. However, on the days when I do put on my big girl panties, these are some of the conversation starters that come to mind when approaching other moms.
If you ask a question, be prepared to give information about your own child as well:
- What’s his/her name? My child’s name is _____.
- How old is he/she? My child is ____ months/years old.
- Do you guys live close? Maybe we will see you guys around more!
- Which daycare do you take him/her to? I’m looking for recommendations.
- We’ve lived in this city for ‘X’ number of years. How long have you lived here?
- What other places do you take him/her? We like to take ours to the hiking trail located on _____.
As always, use caution when sharing too much information with someone about your children. The above suggestions are for conversation STARTERS and not meant to be used in a full conversation (if you are not comfortable sharing this information with someone).
Who is in Your Mom Tribe?
Have you already started building your mom tribe? Where did you find the people in your tribe? How can you nurture those relationships with other moms? I’d love to know how your mom tribe came to be! Tell me your story in the comments below!