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Recently, a friend of mine lost a loved one; someone who was very near and dear to her heart. Her father. And while her heart broke into countless pieces, I’ve watched her hold steady to her commitment of being a good mother.
When I heard the news of her father’s passing, my heart hurt for her and her family. I’ve known her for over a decade. We went to high school together, had sleepovers, played basketball, and got ready for prom together. It’s safe to say that I know her family very well. We graduated in the same class and I’ve been fortunate to still have a friendship with her.
Throughout the years, we went separate ways starting our lives and having children. We took on the motherhood role and of all the roles we’ve had together throughout the years, motherhood by far is the one that connects us the most.
A grieving mother is not like anyone else. She still holds down the fort in strength of her family. She is strong for all those around her and doesn’t show her pain. Furthermore, she is exhausted, but she continues to be someone everyone can count on.
While this isn’t a typical post that is normally shown on blogs, I wanted to take the time to acknowledge the grieving mother who needs to know she is not alone. Pursuant to all the drastic changes that have happened in the blink of an eye, she still finds a way to make her children smile.
A letter to my grieving mama friend;
The day I learned of your father’s passing, my heart hurt for you. It hurt because I knew how much your father meant to you and your family. It hurt because I knew how much your children would miss him. And it hurt because I knew how much would be asked of you to grieve your father’s passing while also being the loving mother that your are.
While life seemed to go on for the rest of the world, you spent your days helping you own mother and siblings accept this tremendous loss. You spoke at his funeral with words that would forever ring in everyone’s heart about how much he meant to you and your family. Then, you turned around and gave you daughter a great birthday celebration a week later. You never let her see how much you were hurting while celebrating without your father being there. Your resilience is astonishing.
I’ve seen you in hard times before through the high school crushes and broken hearts. There wasn’t much I could do for you back then other than tell you you deserved better. Now, I’m even more at a loss for how to help you.
As a mom, I look to you for inspiration on how to cope in such a challenging time in life while still being a mom and providing for the lives we brought into this world.
I want you to know that you aren’t alone. When you have to be the strong one for everyone else, you are the epitome of love. You are strong and you can do this! The pain of your father being gone from this world doesn’t go away. But the way you choose to remember him and be there for your family is one of the greatest ways you could ever honor him.
With much love and sympathy,
A mama friend who sees your sacrifice <3